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Just for fun


Click here to go to The Magic Eye!

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink.
However. if you stare at the black "+" in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
Now, concentrate on the black "+" in the center of the picture.
After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating.
It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear.
This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.


Solid circles or rings?





A picture is worth....


Doh!

Admit it ...

you feel like doing this to at least one person everyday!

Engineer funnies taken from T H E E E C O M P E N D I U M

You Might Be An Engineer If ...

    * You wear black socks with tennis shoes (or vice versa).
    * Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
    * You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
    * You forget to get a haircut ... for 6 months.
    * You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
    * You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
    * Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
    * You've actually used every single function on your calculator.
    * It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
    * You post Dilbert strips in your office.
    * You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
    * Your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The Professor".
    * Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
    * The first thing you do with new electronic gadgets is take them apart to see what's inside.
    * You ask for computer books for Christmas.
    * You're in the hospital and are tempted to take apart the monitoring equipment to see what's inside.
    * People hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween.
    * Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
    * You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
    * Your wife said "either she or the computer had to go" ... and you still don't miss her.
    * You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
    * You have automated everything in your house, but none of it meets the National Electrical Code.
    * Your spouse keeps tripping over the wire you strung -- temporarily -- three years ago.
    * You can name all the cards in your PC without looking.
    * You have at least one historical computer in your closet.
    * You always have to explain things by drawing it out on paper or a napkin.
    * You've ever owned a calculator watch.
    * You take your laptop on vacation.
    * You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
    * You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.
    * Everyone else on the cruise ship is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
    * You dream in C.
    * You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
    * All of your friends have an @ in their names.
    * At the local Radio Shack, you're greeted like Norm at Cheers.
    * All you sentences begin with "what if?"
    * You remember a dozen passwords and have ten e-mail accounts, but you have to call your niece "kiddo".
    * You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
    * You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
    * Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
    * You use a pocket calculator to divide the bill at a restaurant.
    * Your favorite TV program is "Bill Nye the Science Guy".
    * You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl.

Things Engineers Say That Sound Dirty But Really Aren't

    * "He's pulling an all-nighter" (working overtime)
    * "It's really pumping out the juice" (high-current power supply)
    * "That thing's been sucked dry" (battery is discharged)
    * "What's the insertion rate?" (how many components can be populated per minute?)
    * "Insert your probe into the slot" (test procedure)
    * "Tweak the cap to reach peak output" (adjust capacitor for maximum signal)
    * "Looks like he has a leaky cap" (the capacitor has failed)
    * "High-frequency emissions" (noisy circuit)
    * "Gender-bender" (cable adapter)
    * "Bit-bang" (emulate a serial port in software)
    * "Plug it in and gimme some juice" (turn it on)

Engineers Do It ...

    * Engineers do it ... with precision.
    * Engineers do it ... on the test bench.
    * Engineers do it ... without looking at the manual.
    * Engineers do it ... to specs.
    * Engineers do it ... with electricity.
    * Engineers do it ... with the latest technology.
    * Engineers do it ... by pulling all-nighters.
    * Engineers do it ... even under intense pressure.
    * Engineers do it ... with more frequency and less resistance.
    * Engineers do it ... until it hertz.
    * Engineers do it ... with maximum power.
    * Engineers do it ... with maximum efficiency.

Real Engineers ...

* Don't write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programs are for dullards who can't do system programming.
    * Don't write specs. Users should be grateful for whatever they get. They are lucky to get any documentation at all.
    * Don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
    * Don't read user manuals. Reliance on a reference is a hallmark of the novice and the coward.
    * Never work 9 to 5. If any real engineers are around at 9 a.m. it's because they were up all night.
    * Have no use for managers. Managers are a necessary evil. Managers are for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives.
    * Don't believe in schedules. Planners make up schedules. Managers "firm up" schedules. Frightened engineers strive to make schedules. Real engineers ignore schedules.
    * Don't take support calls. If the user can't figure it out, screw 'em.
    * Don't seek technical support. To do so is a sign of weakness
    * Read tecnical manuals at lunch.
    * Use vacations as an opportunity to learn new programming languages.
    * Don't drink Sprite, 7-Up, or diet cola. A beverage for a real engineer must be brown and highly caffinated.
    * Read tech magazines during meetings. If the information was important, they'd send it in an e-mail.
    * Consider themselves well dressed if their socks match.
    * Buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday.
    * Wear moustaches or beards for "efficiency", not because they're lazy.
    * Don't write the user interfaces, they merely argue over what they should look like.

Reasons To Go Into Engineering

    * It's ten times more fun than being a doctor, a lawyer, a dentist, or an accountant.
    * Annoying co-workers can be put in their place with a little computer sabotage.
    * Computers don't save work; they just make more work.
    * If times are tough, you can always give up purity and make money programming in Visual Basic.
    * If you throw in enough technical jargon and acronyms, people will believe anything you say.
    * Engineering can serve as both a career and a hobby.
    * T-shirt and jeans are formal dress.
    * Social skills are optional.

Reasons Not To Go Into Engineering

    * No TV shows about gorgeous computer programmers in bed together, unlike legal and lifeguarding professions
    * At least one user in 20 believe computers are alive and malicious
    * Presenting evidence to the contrary is sometimes made difficult by apparently intelligent and malicious behavior from the computer
    * Personal hygiene problems / social disorders considered a sign of someone whose mind is highly specialized and valuable
    * Heavy use of computers causes eye/hand/wrist/back injuries
    * Relatives, friends, neighbors and others expect you to have a guru-level understanding of their home computer or gizmo
    * Microsoft Windows
    * Things you learn in medical school do not become obsolete as the human body evolves into a new life form
    * Management-imposed deadlines on computer-related tasks are driven by management's understanding of how computers work
    * Male/female ratio worse than any other career except "monk"
    * Plumbers make more money per hour, and have to put up with a lot less s**t on the job.

Engineer-Speak

A compendium of engineer-speak, engineering code phrases, and other assorted technobabble designed to obfuscurate and/or baffle the non-engineer.

    * A number of different approaches are being tried.
      We have no clue and are trying things at random.
    * Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
      It failed the smoke test.
* Test results were extremely gratifying.
      It didn't blow up, and we were very surprised.
    * The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
      The only person who understood the thing quit.
    * Teamwork is essential.
      Let's spread the blame as widely as possible.
    * I'd like your input on this.
      I'm looking for someone to take the fall for this project, and you look like a sucker.
    * The project has gone into alpha testing.
    It doesn't work, and it only blows up occasionally.
    * The project has gone into beta testing.
      It still doesn't work, but it no longer blow up (well, at least under "normal" conditions).
    * This is a new generation design.
      The old design didn't work, maybe this one will.
    * This product has been thoroughly field tested.
      We didn't have the proper test equipment, so we shipped it and hoped the customers wouldn't blow it up.
    * This product has been thoroughly field tested.
      We didn't have the proper test equeipment, so we shipped it and hoped the customers wouldn't blow it up.
    * Developed after years of intensive research.
      It was discovered by accident.
    * The design will be finalized in the next reporting period.
      We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.
    * Hardware is done.
      It's software's fault.
    * Software is done.
      It's hardware's fault.
    * System is ready for delivery.
      We give up.

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